The tea bra.

Do you know those manky old greyish bras you have stuffed at the back of your drawer?  The ones which may have seen better days but are still perfectly functional albeit ugly as sin?  Well I had a few of those which I decided I needed to fix!  (Notice the past tense there.  I HAD a few of those)

So off I went to buy some of that net curtain whitener stuff which is so highly regarded by my elders from the supermarket... Then I did the well known Yorkshire battle cry... "HOW MUCH!?!" With an average of £1.26 in my purse, I'd need to sell a kidney or something to be able to purchase my chosen chemicals!

Needless to say I decided to try something else so I sat down and got googling.  It almost seemed to be a waste of time because everyone suggested the same old chemical therapy in the form of net curtain whitener or some lingerie lightener until i then stumbled across a question on yahoo for how to get your bra white again and someone had suggested staining your grey-whites with tea to make them nude instead of grey! 

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! 

(It wasn't voted the best answer either)

So here goes Dawn's grey-bra experiment #1

Apparatus

Bowl

Tea bags

A stirring thing

A manky grey-bra

Salt (I read somewhere that salt helps with dying or something?  Basically I haven't a clue whether this is needed or not)

Oh and some boiling water... The kind you get from a kettle :-/

Method

Put about 3-4 tablespoons of salt in a bowl with about 6-8 tea bags depending on the severity of shade you want to achieve.  6 for mild tan, 8 for deep tan.

Pour over boiling water (about 4" or enough to just submerge the offending grey-bra)

Bung your bra in the mix and poke until covered.  You can leave tea bags in or take them out, I left them in because I couldn't be bothered to find something to put them on.  (If you are that way inclined, I wouldn't recommend saving the bags for a sneaky re-cycled bag  brew because of the salt!)

Leave to stand but poking and turning occasionally until you achieve your desired shade.  I did 2 bras, one I made a deep tan (for my holidays). The other I did a lighter day to day shade (for everyday use).  

Rinse thoroughly.

Leave to dry somewhere where the tea isn't going to drip and ruin something like carpets, paintwork, small dogs or other clothes. 

Once pretty much dry (I have no patience) wash using normal detergent in your usual method.

Dry, wear, enjoy. 

Conclusion

 I can't  believe this hair rained idea worked! That's nuts! 

NAILED IT!

However due to how ancient my bras were they did look a bit patchy in places and the metal bits remained white.  I think this is because they are cheapy fabric to start with maybe?  I wouldn't recommend you do thus with anything decent, but to get a few months out of something you haven't worn for a few months due to sheer embarrassment, it's worth a bash! 

Fish cake

My friend "the wife" asked me if I could do a cake for her husbands 50th birthday and it had to be "sumfin to do with fishin". 

So off I went into a google frenzy and decided to make a kind of "mounted trophy fish" with a wooden plaque background and a metal plate announcing the name and age...

So I started by icing a large rectangular board approx 24" long with sugar paste coloured with autumn leaf.  Then I began by giving it a dark brown/autumn leaf wash, then I began painting the wood grain detail with dark brown.  All the washes and detail were paste colour with rejuvenating spirit or a few drops of clear alcohol.

Next up was the cake itself.  I had baked 2x 9" square chocolate cakes and cut the detail out by placing them side by side and using the off cuts for the fins and tail.  (I detest waste)

I then covered the body with a pale green (mint green with a touch of autumn leaf) and cut out lots of 2cm circles from other various colours and stuck them on to mimic scales.  The fins were covered with egg yellow/autumn leaf and then scored to add texture. 

The mouth was created by using a bone tool to make indentation.  I then gave the scales a very light wash of water before adding some iridescent glitter. 

This was then finished off with a black 15 mm ribbon for the board and a plaque for his name and age.  Simples!

A Rat Is Born

I briefly mentioned my plans for poor Sh@g at work and my boss became suddenly very excited.  He loves a bit of tinkering and backyard chemistry!  I couldn't rust my car because all the panels are plastic, so that would mean a bit of jiggery pokery!  We did some research and found that other people had bought a rusty solution from someone on ebay, but sadly they no longer do it.  Then we found Dulux Australia make a rusty paint.  Sadly not available in the UK.  So off my boss went into his man shed and began playing with paint and iron...  Here is a test strip made out of a bit of old wood...  all we had to do was spray it with lemon and salt and wait.

Then lo and behold one of the samples rusted!  We had made our own rusty wood!  It was also weather proof.  Bonus!

This particular finish was created by simply painting the wood and sprinkling iron filings on the wet surface.  When dry spray with a lemon and salt solution for fast rusting.

So off I went to the bosses house for a day of ratting and tinkering.  As you can see we did lots of prep (we used a sheet and wire wool on the surface)




Then we used an outdoors metal/plastic paint in a fetching NATO green and sprinkled iron filings over the top.  This used about 750g to do the whole bonnet.

Then sprayed with lemon juice and vinegar!  Et viola!  

Add caption

Next up was the rear doors... I decided a fetching newspaper collage would be highly effective in my journey to rat-dom, so various newspapers, a brush and a pva-water solution finished off with some varnish I found in the shed.

Next was sticker bombing...  After researching how much stickers were going to cost me.... HOW MUCH!?  I decided to trial making my own using waterproof printable vinyl.  It was an initial success, but after a week and harsh sun, the UV had unfortunately faded them... back to the drawing board!

So after spending less than £15  I now have a semi-rat!  There is still much much more to do, but I am feeling rather pleased with myself about the current rat progress!  As I am driving along I get people pointing and giggling.  When its parked up people come over to have a look and chat to me about it.  I have only met one person who was grumpy about it and told me my stickers were illegal.... erm ok.  

But the general consensus is they love it.  They love the fact that its wacky and they love the fact that its different.  After all, if we were all the same the world would be a very boring place don't you think?

So if I can make someones morning by having them giggle at my car, then I am one happy bunny :-)

So, what now?

Sooo...  Wedding is over, honeymoon still to come.  What can I do now?

I sat there pondering this for several weeks.  I did some honeymoon wardrobe window shopping which killed about 3 weeks*  Then I went on a house tidy spree.  Then I re-organised my sock drawer.  Cue post wedding blues.  I needed something to get my teeth sunk into and fast.  I needed a long term project which I could spend time on when I fancied.... But what? 


Then along came Sh@g**

Sh@g is a Smart ForFour which has been mistreated on a gross scale.  I think she was driven by a blind hoarding woman with dogs and kids.  When I took her for a test drive I urgently felt the need to have a shower and frontline myself immediately afterwards because it was so filthy and disgusting.

So because I am so fond of making lists, heres a SITREP

Cons
Massive dent on passenger side rear quarter
Massive weird circular crack in bumper
Bumper half hanging off on passenger side
Very large deep scuffs on all 4 corners (from bad parking?)
3" tear in drivers seat pad exposing metal frame
2" tear in drivers seat back 
Ingrained dog hair in all the carpets
Disgusting perma wet dog stench
Bogeys?
Frame in drivers seat back protruding causing discomfort
Crack & large chip from passenger side indicator
Scratches from ?dog claws on back bumper
?Cooking oil spillage on rear seats
Chocolate and boiled sweets amalgamated in rear door pockets
Cigarette lighter/satnav charger not working
Leak in passenger rear window
MUD!
Various tears, scuffs and scrapes in all of interior door cards
Cigarette burns in headlining, seats and carpets
A pirate copy of Clubland or some other b*llocks in the CD player (worth a mention)
Someone has painted (badly)  the alloy wheels black
The most Fugly colour green? yellow?  Gold/green?  colour I have ever seen
80k on the clock

Pros
It works
It has an MOT
its silly cheap because of all of the above
Its cheaper than the bus
Its not a bus
I can have some fun with this....

So Google got some hammering for a few days whilst I tried to find some solutions to the issue of my super ugly poorly looking car, because frankly it was embarrassing.  Driving round in a car with all those dents and scrapes, it made me look like I couldn't drive and I take it very personally if you insult my driving.  Reason being,  the last big thing I did with my Dad before he died in 2005 was learn how to drive and I see driving as the ultimate gift from him.  I love driving, but driving a car I feel embarrassed to be seen in really ruins it for me and is also a bit insulting.  So I needed a solution to the problem and fast.

To fix it would cost at least £1000 which is money I don't have and feel would be wasted.  So what could I do?  

Them BAM!  

I came across an image of a Micra the same year and colour that I used to drive (aka Rita).  But this Micra had a very special look.  It had panels which were rusted, shrunken heads hanging from the mirror, stickerbombed windows, a roofrack sporting various bits of junk, whitewall tyres and some random paint job on the doors.  I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself.  I then clicked on the link where it took me to a website called rat-look.com where I discovered a whole community of rust crazy nutters.  They took cars who were past their best cosmetically and went wild with whatever takes their fancy.  They know how not to take themselves too seriously and can have fun with their cars.  

The concept of Rat Look seems to have various grey areas and if you ask the members for their opinion, you will most likely get different answers.  Some believe it is a highly modded mechanical masterpiece with a generally tatty exterior.  Some believe it is a fully rusted exterior and some just don't have a clue but love it anyway.  Rat Look in my eyes is taking a car (or vehicle) which cosmetically isn't too cracking and you roll with it.  Embrace the dents, cultivate the rust into a paint effect and generally have fun with it.  Don't take it too seriously and make something which will make people laugh or smile.

Challenge accepted.

*Going on holiday when you're plus size can be difficult.  I cant just buy some super cute lil shorts and sexy lil vest tops cos I would look like an absolute twit!  anything above the knee is a no-no!  and flattering, keep cool, functional yet pretty clothing is difficult to come by.  Swimwear is a massive challenge too. Cant wear halternecks because the back rolls down, cant wear bandeaus cos it gathers up and squashes boobs into a kinda ugly sausage,  cant wear bikinis (shudder) ESPECIALLY those super cheap pretty little tie side jobbies.  *sigh*  so ill carry on on my slimming world diet and dream of sundresses :-)

** The nickname my colleagues gave her

The Cake Makers Cake

It took 2 years to design and 10 minutes to be eaten.  Was I pleased with it?  Umm not 100%.  There was nothing wrong with it, but I felt it was a bit of an anti-climax.  I think I would never have been 100% happy regardless though as there were too many people giving their opinions on what it should and should not be some of which I agreed to against my better judgement.   This meant I ended up with a whole tier that was bodged and a feeling of uneasiness about the structural integrity. 

The compliments received were all good but it didn't soothe my disappointment in the finished product.  *sigh*  I think that's what you get for putting too much pressure on yourself huh?  ( Dont think it helped that the toastmaster kept picking fault.... git)

The Bottom tier was fruit and has a ring of flowers mimicking the detail on my wedding dress.  

Then there was a tier of carrot cake which had a quilting effect on it.  This is the tier I dislike due to it being uneven and having poor detail.  I knew I didn't want to do this design but it was a compromise I should never have let happen.  Luckily the camera angle disguises the errors.  I finished this tier off with a length of ivory lace and some 3mm Berisfords Cypress Green Ribbon.  

Then we had a tier of chocolate cake simply finished with 50mm Berisfords Cypress Green Ribbon and an antique brooch I picked up at an antiques fayre.

Then we have 2 tiers of lemon cake.  The 2nd to top was finished with a pretty ruffle effect mimicking the effect of bridal underskirts and the top tier had pleated detail similar to that on the bodices of both mine and the bridesmaids dresses, finished off with a larger flower in the same design as the bottom tier surrounded my crystal picks made by my talented Stepmum.

The Day

So The Day came and went in a blur.  
    The Day which has caused blood sweat and tears has occurred.  
        2 years of careful planning has come to an end.  
            The Day which has been the cause of so much heartache is finally over.  

Was it worth it?

Absolutely. 

Making a List, Checking it Twice!... Oh Bugger

So I am a self confessed list making junkie!

I make lists for allsorts.  I dont feel like I am able to plan anything without lists.  Without a comprehensive list with sub lists and supporting information I feel like Im incompetent and destined to fail!

This wedding planning lark is exactly the same, I had a timetable of events to help me plan what needs doing (due to me doing and making nearly everything myself)  and put it up in the kitchen on "The Great Wall of Plan".  I have to say this has been invaluable!  I then sat down and made a shopping list for all the bits I have so far forgotten and it wasn't pretty!  How did I forget so much stuff?  Everything from heel grips to make-up remover is on there with grapes in between!  *sigh* 

Now comes the task of figuring out when exactly am I going to fit all this into my exhausting week?  I have a plan though!  Its called Pull Yourself Together Dawn and Deal With It!  

So how am I going to fit in a shopping excursion?  Simple!  Make a list of stuff to do!  

Do you see where this is going?

Me too.

I think I have a problem.